Marriage: How to Remain The Best of Lovers and The Best of Friends

Are you getting married? Or newly married? Have you wondered, “How do we remain the best of lovers and the best of friends after we’re married? Is it possible for us to stay in love for decades? Can our love last? Can we live our dreams and still live in reality?” The answer is yes, but you will need a map for your long journey of life together.

As a marriage and family therapist for over thirty years, Dr. Linda Miles has lived the questions of how to manage the energies of love on a daily basis. Based on her work and counseling sessions with couples – and her personal experiences – she has prepared a practical and engaging book that shares how it is to live and enjoy good relationships by building it on Friendship on Fire. Only when a couple establishes a loving and lasting connection that they will have a fulfilling union.

So what is it? How does one achieve Friendship on Fire? Let Dr. Linda Miles share the ways good relationships give life. For you to enjoy a compassionate, sensual, and lasting bond, you have to find your true home with your partner. Friendship on Fire is the key; the friendship will offer safety and the fire will provide the sparks in your connection.

Love is a fire. Like a fire, it explodes then it gradually dies down. It’s up to you to keep the fire aglow. You hold the matches so you have to keep the fire under control. Let Dr. Linda Miles share some secrets to successful and lasting relationships based on real life Friendships on Fire….couples who have been married for 30,40 or 50 years whose brain scan still look like teenagers in love without the anxiety.

Commitment Ignites Great Sex

Laura was a middle-aged woman with a lasting and loving marriage to Hugh. Her parents were strong models of a Friendship on Fire. As a child, she shared a bedroom with her sister and her bed happened to be next to the wall of her parents’ bedroom. Most nights, she went to sleep to the sound of her parents’ laughter.

When she was a teenager, she figured out that after many years of marriage her parents still shared a joyful intimacy. She thought that all children grew up with parents who ended their day with a joyful and loving connection. As a result she sought out and married a happy and loving man.

Masters and Johnson referred to good sex as, “two children under the sheets.” In order to have this kind of physical intimacy you must be able to let go and relax. Orgasm is about letting go. It takes time for a couple to learn how to pleasure one another in a way that meets individual needs and invites the process of letting go. You may find temporary release and passion with a stranger, but it takes time to develop mutually satisfying and rewarding physical intimacy that honors who you really are.

If you have sex with a stranger there are many questions: Can I trust this person? Who else has he/she been with? Is it safe? What does he/she think about cellulite? Does he/she like my size and shape?

Think about a phrase from the theme song for the television show, Crime Scene Investigation (CSI): “Who are you?” Do you consider the risk you may be taking when you decide to bare all and get intimate with someone you don’t know?

A new sexual relationships may not be like those in magazines or romance novels. Sex doesn’t always work with a new partner. Often you are in trying-to-impress mode, which means you are not your real self and may not feel safe enough to let go. Or you try to second guess to impress and decide to try some new techniques wondering if this is the right thing to do with this new partner.

Studies from the University of Chicago show great sex happens most often with safety and commitment. Mature loving is resolute, not restless. There is a level of comfort, reassurance, and satisfaction within the level of commitment you have for one another.

How do couples keep the flames alive and glowing without burning out? How can you remain the best of lovers and the best of friends? Find out in Friendship On Fire.